Weathering the Seasons of Life
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under
heaven” Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV)
Ecclesiastes 3:1 is probably familiar to most of us; it’s not uncommon to hear talk of “seasons” in Christian
circles. Seasons are those times of life when we face change, trial, unusual circumstances, or even special
grace and blessing. Whenever I have heard people talk about being in a particular “season” of life, I get the
feeling that things aren’t as they would like, or that they are just waiting for this “season” to pass.
We have recently weathered one of those seasons which, I think, has almost come to its end. It all started in August of this year when we knew we’d soon be moving from Connecticut to Indiana. Even while I began going through our houseful of belongings—sorting, giving away, throwing away, and boxing up—I was trying to get a head start on our school year, knowing that as the move became more imminent we’d be forced to take a prolonged vacation. During this time, the baby seemed extra fussy, always wanting to be held. Our toddler was in the process of being potty-trained, with irregular success. And suddenly our three year-old daughter became incredibly whiny. I will say that I did try very hard to keep everything on an even keel, both for myself and particularly for the children. I wanted the transition to be as seamless as possible. Admittedly, however, I had a hard time distinguishing between those things that “needed” to get done and what I simply felt pressured to accomplish. As a result, I was easily frustrated. This did not help to keep the tone of our home what it should have been. As it so often does, God’s grace evidenced itself at many critical moments. There were quite a few times I had to confess my irritability to my husband or my children and ask for forgiveness and prayer. All in all, though, the process of packing, and even driving halfway across the country, went fairly well and I began to congratulate myself on having weathered this season of life. I was to find out, however, that it was only the beginning. Once we moved into our new home, the unpacking was another challenge of its own. Yet, we had been on homeschool “vacation” for almost three whole weeks and I wanted to get back to the books, in one form or another. Trouble was, all the school things were still in boxes and I had no place to put them, as the rec room where they would be stored had woefully inadequate shelving. Add to this feeling pressured to attack all of the other areas of the house (both cleaning and unpacking), and not even knowing where the local grocery store was! Being one who does not deal well with change in the first place, I was reaching the limits of my ability to cope. To top it all off, after having been at our new home for only a few days (and thinking that things could only go up from here!), our nine-month-old baby suddenly stopped nursing and my hormones went a little berserk. I would like to think that I only had a few bad days, but my husband lovingly insists that it was the better part of a week. I was not pleasant to be around. Not only did I make most of the family miserable, but I made myself miserable with self-condemnation. By week’s end, I was asking God to just give me the grace to “start over.” And finally, He did. On Saturday I awoke and truly felt like I had experienced the mercies of God that are “new every morning” (see Lamentations 3:22-24). But the season itself was still not over. I began homeschooling again that Monday with what few materials I could muster, all while continuing to unpack and make our new house a home and struggling to get to know a new community and integrate in a new church. There were still many things that remained much too unsettled. Thankfully, however, my emotional state had stabilized. As I write this reflection, I finally feel like this season has run its course. There are only a handful of boxes that remain to be unpacked. Our house feels like home. School has resumed successfully for these past few weeks. We’ve learned the area a bit and gotten to know some wonderful brothers and sisters in the Lord. I have asked the Lord throughout this season just what it was He wanted to show me, and now that it is nearing its end, I believe He has finally brought it all together. As He always does, He has worked all things for good and given me some lessons that will hopefully carry me through the next difficult season of life with a bit more joy and stability. The Word that God gave me to put it all together is found in Ecclesiastes 8:4-6:
The New Living Translation puts it this way:
With this Scripture, God brought some conviction to my spirit that I had focused more, in this season, on the doing than on my being. Yes, everything that needed to get accomplished was accomplished—but there was an unnecessary expense to myself and to my family. I believe that one of the reasons things began to turn around was because, during my bad week, I realized that I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t even know what to pray—so I just asked God for wisdom. I also asked Him to help me to obey Him and live according to His Word, first and foremost, trusting that everything else would fall into place in His time. When I read the verses above, these truths seem to resonate there. When we are going through one of life’s seasons, we can’t just give up. We must look to the Lord and to His Word and seek wisdom for each moment. We have to be willing to do hard things, if that is what God asks of us. Sometimes simply obeying God is hard enough in itself (for example, responding gently and patiently to a child’s repeated questions, when really we would like to snap at them, “Would you just be quiet?!”) At other times, we may have to give up on our own preconceived ideas about how things “should” be, and go with what God wants them to be. A season of life may come about because of a pregnancy or the birth of a new baby, an illness or death in the family, a job change or move, or any number of life transitions. As managers of our homes and daughters of the King, we have to persevere through these trials knowing that they will result in greater maturity ( James 1:2-4). In practical terms this may mean that for a while our homes are “neat” rather than “clean.” If we homeschool, we may rely on oral drill and practice rather than workbooks, or focus on the basics of the “three R’s” rather than a more formal curriculum. If we want to continue to fulfill the Scriptural injunction to “ practice hospitality” during a challenging season, we simply have to remember that there is a difference between hospitality and entertaining. We don’t have to offer a four-course meal on fine china with our best silver and choice of drinks and dessert. Instead, our guests will feel most welcome and most blessed when we seek to serve in love. Proverbs 17:1 may speak to this when it says, “Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.” At the same time, we do need to seek Godly wisdom for those activities that can reasonably be refused—even “church” functions! It is always wise to have some freezer meals on hand for those unexpected trying times. If you don’t, ask some of the women in your fellowship or family if they would be willing to cook a meal for your family. God created us as the body of Christ to support and uplift one another; if you have particular needs in a trying season, be honest about sharing them and asking for what you need. First and foremost, lift your concerns to God in prayer and He will provide help, oftentimes in unexpected ways. James 1:2-8 is a good Scripture to remember as you face the storms of life:
Copyright © 2007-2009, Cynthia Carrier
Cynthia Carrier is the homeschooling mom of seven children and author of The Growing Homeschool: Integrating Babies and Toddlers into Your Already Busy Schedule and the children's character training coloring book, Growing to be Like Jesus. She also has written, with her husband, Marc, The Values-Driven Family: A Proactive Plan for Successful Biblical Parenting and Values-Driven Discipleship: Biblical Instruction and Character Training Manual. She has been a popular speaker at homeschool conventions and events. The focus of Marc and Cindy's "Values-Driven" ministry is to encourage and equip Christian families to make the most of every opportunity: that is, to serve God, participate in fulfilling the Great Commission, and raise children who love and serve the Lord. For more information about their resources, for fresh inspiration on your family journey, or to find practical helps-including dozens of FREE DOWNLOADS-visit http://www.ValuesDrivenFamily.com.
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