Values-Driven Newsletter Article

Developing a Workable Routine

Originally published for the Values-Driven e-newsletter. May not be re-printed without permission.

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Organization…are you organized ? I admit, I could do a lot better at some aspects of it (for example, my filing system and folders need a total overhaul.) One thing that I do like, though, is the way our time is organized and optimized.

Transitioning from vacation to schooling (if you do have “summer vacation,” which some homeschoolers don’t) can be difficult. No one—Mom included!—likes going back to the rigidity of a schedule after the flexibility and freedom that summer often brings. So one thing we typically re-visit before a new school year is our daily schedule, to see if it needs any re-organization.

Scheduling. That’s a loaded word, and often inspires dread in the mom who just hasn’t gotten the hang of it yet. I used to do it. I used to love it. But I used to hate it, too. Why? Because for as many days as a schedule helped me to feel productive, there were days that the productivity was at the expense of relationship-building, discipleship opportunities with the children, and what have you—things, frankly, that were more important than what was on my schedule. But my schedule too often ruled the day!

We wrote extensively about developing a good working schedule in The Values-Driven Family. However, by the time you get to my most recent book, The Growing Homeschool, you will see a paradigm shift in the focus, from schedule to routine. Now, instead of scheduling every day and every task to the half-hour and feeling guilty when it’s not done (or allowing those tasks to drive us and feeling guilty about missed opportunities), we develop a solid routine for our day that is based on our well-defined priorities.

Would we re-write The Values-Driven Family? Well, we have actually talked about it, since we’re in a bit of a different place now as far as scheduling goes. However, a rather lengthy period of using a schedule was necessary for us, and highly beneficial in many ways. Scheduling helped us grow in necessary self-discipline. It helped us to examine our daily tasks and see where our time was going. It helped us to be better stewards of our time. I wouldn’t “not” recommend it as a tool for making the most of every opportunity (which is what we’re all about here at Values-Driven!).

So with practice in scheduling, how do you shift into a solid routine that will ensure that all of your vital priorities are being met? Well, the first thing you need to do is decide what those priorities are, and try to set them in order of importance. Husband and wife need to talk together about what is most important to each of them, and why, since there will not always be instant agreement. However, this is a vital conversation, and much stress and frustration can be avoided when both partners are on the same page.

How is this helpful? Well, oftentimes I “think” that the house is a mess and so home management becomes Priority One. I get to bustling around the house and pretty soon I’m telling the kids, “Sure, I’ll be there in a minute. Just as soon as I’m done with [insert task].” But, I think back on my husband’s priorities. He wants the house to be “neat,” so that we are prepared to practice hospitality and be welcoming to potential guests in an instant. However, he prefers to invest the maximum amount of time in relationship-building, life skills, and discipleship opportunities. When I find myself cleaning “too much,” I know that I’m not doing my best to meet my husband’s expectations—and frankly, I trust in his wisdom to lead our home and know that his choices are probably better than mine (even if my perfectionist instincts disagree). So I switch gears and drop what I’m doing, then get back on track with the higher priorities.

Your husband’s duties may be different from yours and will most likely include providing for the family through work. You may or may not need to be concerned with that. I’m talking here about the priorities that will guide your day as you manage your home and possibly homeschool. What does your husband think you should focus on? What are your preferences as to how time will be spent? Some couples will agree that academics are important and should be addressed as a priority in homeschooling; other families focus on discipleship as the heart of the homeschool. You don’t have to agree with “everyone else,” but you and your husband must be in agreement as to how things will work in your home.

Some things to consider in setting your priorities and putting them in order are:

Work for income, if it is necessary for you
Discipleship of your children (teaching and modeling God’s Word, and bringing the Scriptures alive through everyday “teachable moments)
Ministry opportunities in your community
Building family relationships
Homeschooling (and your focus: academic, life-skills oriented, or discipleship-based, as well as the amount of paperwork/planning you need to do to meet state requirements or fulfill your personal obligations)
Home management (housekeeping, grocery shopping, bill payment, and all the things that go along with it)

For us, we view discipleship and family relationships as priority one; ministry opportunities are usually second in line, then homeschooling (however, integrating all-of-the-above is the ideal). My home-based work for income usually ties in last place with home management—and home management is usually the more pressing of the two. However, there are seasons where I’m working on a project (like my Defeating Depression seminar) and home management takes a back seat. As well, I try to coordinate those projects with a school vacation or part-time schedule of schooling if need be, so that I’m not overwhelmed and so that everything can be reasonably accomplished.

Likewise, what if we are expecting company? Well, home management may be the more important task of the day, and we might call a “work day” and the children will get excused from some of their homeschooling to help.

From these two examples alone, you can see why a routine is preferable to a schedule! Each day is different, and some days our priorities have to be re-ordered according to circumstances. However, those priorities are a necessary guide in the midst of the busyness of day-to-day life.

A routine is also preferable, because some days “accomplishing” those priorities takes different amounts of time and cannot be neatly segmented into the 30-minute increments of the typical daily schedule. Some days it seems like we’re capitalizing on one “teachable moment” after another (read: some days the kids seem to be getting into all kinds of trouble, and bickering about everything, and not doing their jobs!) However, that’s discipleship at its best—and that’s a priority! On the other hand, some days are light on discipleship, so we will focus on homeschooling and get a lot done to “make up” for any lost time on other days.

Truthfully, I think that the difference between a schedule and a routine is faith . Are we seeking God and prayerfully doing our best to do what He wants us to do? Are we listening to the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit as He prompts us to change direction? Can we be flexible enough to submit to God’s plan, particularly when it is adversity or annoyances that reveal the change in direction? If so, then a routine is an ideal tool and allows us to accomplish all that is in God’s will for our day. Conversely, a rigid and unforgiving schedule only causes us to try to “do it all” in our own strength—and that can be quite frustrating!

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps” Proverbs 16:9

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